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To look, or not to look? Deciding whether or not you want to do a first look on your wedding day, like all wedding decisions, is a personal one. If you’re unsure, I’d like to explain what people mean when they talk about a first look, first touch, or aisle reveal, as well as some practical pros/cons like how a first look affects the wedding day timeline (with examples!), and why it all matters. If you are already familiar with these ideas I hope to help you get a clearer picture of what you really want for your wedding day so you can make a confident decision that honors your priorities and desires. I also want to emphasize that you can have a wonderful wedding day no matter what you choose! Your wedding is about celebrating your marriage, however you want to celebrate is up to you!

What is a first look?

The idea of not seeing each other before the ceremony stems from a time of arranged marriages, social obligations, and tradition. It is not bad luck, and frankly, nobody cares anymore! That said, if you find yourself wanting to do an aisle reveal – not seeing each other until you walk down the aisle – and you think that moment would make the ceremony extra special for you, then by all means do it! On the flip side, some couples throw tradition out the window completely and choose to get ready and spend the whole day together – although this usually applies more to micro weddings or elopements with little to no bridal parties. The increasingly more common option is to get ready separately with your respective bridal parties, and then have a “first look” moment where you see each other all dressed up for the first time. You can also do a first look with your parents, bridal party, or anyone else who is special to you and would enjoy that moment.

Venue on left: The Davies Family Inn at ShadowRidge Ranch

Why do a first look on your wedding day?

If you’re a first look skeptic, you might think that doing a first look is cheesy or fake but here’s the thing: it’s only performative if you perform! You shouldn’t be doing a first look only so that your photographer can capture it. Your photographer is capturing it because it’s a special moment, but if you’d rather it be completely private, your photographer doesn’t have to be there at all. It’s the first time that you see each other all dressed up to get married. It’s the first time you get to talk to your partner on your wedding day! It can be emotional, anxiety reducing, or simply a calm moment for the two of you to be present with each other and soak it all in. Don’t let the worry of not having big reactions stop you from having a moment for yourselves.

To reiterate: the #1 reason I advise doing a first look is not for the photos or the timeline, it’s for you to have a moment of peace and joy together away from the busyness of the day. Otherwise you likely won’t chat much until dinner time, which is crazy for a day that is literally celebrating your union! This is why I suggest planning a “first touch” moment if you decide to do an aisle reveal. You have that same moment of connection without actually seeing each other. (See an example of a wedding day with a first touch here)

Your wedding day timeline with no first look

With a traditional aisle reveal you are far more limited on which portrait photos you can capture before the ceremony. This means that after your I do’s, you get to spend the next hour taking photos with your family, bridal party, and each other, while your guests enjoy cocktail hour. Alternatively, if you do a first look, you have the flexibility to take all the formal portraits before the ceremony so that you can be completely present with your guests during cocktail hour. I have heard several couples tell me they want a traditional aisle reveal without sacrificing cocktail hour with their guests. While it can be a tricky ask, here are some ways you can help make that happen:

1. Take all individual portraits, separate bridal party shots, and any other formal photos you want that don’t require both you and your partner BEFORE the ceremony to shorten the photo list as much as possible.
2. Have a detailed family photos list and someone in charge of wrangling family for photos to make it an efficient process. (Remember that EACH family shot will take 2-4 minutes depending on how many people are in each one)
3. Take Formal portraits on a separate day. This one isn’t for everyone but you can schedule family photos, or your couple photos for a different day to take the pressure off of the wedding day. My husband and I did this and took most of our couple photos on our honeymoon and we LOVED getting all dressed up again in a more relaxed environment.
4. Extend cocktail hour so that you still have time to mingle when you finish photos.
5. Focus on group photos. I.e. shorten your photo list to prioritize larger group photos instead of a lot more individual shots with family and even bridal party.
6. Take some of your portraits later during golden hour.
7. Focus on candids. Tell your photographer you’d like a heavy focus on getting candid shots of you and your partner interacting with friends and family during cocktail hour instead of formal portraits.
8. Hire a professional photographer who knows what shots you really need and will want and can capture them efficiently so that you have more down time with your guests.

First look wedding day timeline comparison.

Here is an outline of two real wedding timelines I created for 9 hours of photo coverage, which is my starting coverage for weddings. The first was in November with a first look. The second in May with an aisle reveal. You may notice how different the sunset times are because of the seasons and yet how both ceremonies are still at 4PM. You may also notice that skipping the first look doesn’t necessarily shorten the amount of coverage you’ll need before your ceremony. I Recommend 3-4 hours of pre-ceremony coverage for a relaxed timeline. 2 at the very least so that you don’t feel rushed. If you are worried about your day feeling like a photoshoot, I actually recommend MORE coverage, not less. More coverage allows for more breaks and buffer time, which is what really allows you to be present and not get too exhausted to enjoy the party.

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Wedding day timeline with first look:

1 PM – Photographer arrives | Details & Flat lays

Getting ready candids, Individual portraits

1:45 PM First look with dad & Brother

2 PM First look with groom

Couple portraits

Bridal party portraits

2:45 PM Family portraits (immediate family only)

Hideaway

Venue shots

4 PM Ceremony

4:30 PM Cocktail hour

4:45 PM Sunset portraits

4:55 PM Sunset

5:30 PM Grand entrance | First dance

Dinner

6 PM Speeches

6:30 PM Cake cutting | Dessert

Dances

Bouquet toss

9:45 PM Last Dance & Sendoff

10 PM Photographer leaves

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Wedding day timeline without first look (Aisle Reveal):

12:30 PM Photographer arrives | Detail shots

Getting ready shots of bride & bridesmaids

Bridal portraits & Bride with each bridesmaid

1:45 PM Groomsmen getting ready shots & portraits

2:20 PM Bride & family shots (without groom)

2:45 PM Groom & family shots (without bride)

4 PM Ceremony

4:30 PM Cocktail hour

4:40 PM Family portraits (short list with both bride and groom)

5 PM Bridal party shots and a few couple shots

Couple enjoyed 30 mins of cocktail hour

5:50 PM Grand entrance | Dinner

6:45 PM Speeches

Cake cutting

7:20 PM First Dance | Open dancing

7:45 PM Sunset Photos

8:24 PM Sunset

9:30 PM Photographer leaves

Party continues

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These two timelines are actually pretty similar on paper, so what’s the big deal about a first look? Again, it’s not really about the timeline, it’s about what kind of experience YOU want to have on your wedding day. Most couples I’ve asked have had no regrets about their choice, regardless of whether or not they did a first look. If you are someone who doesn’t love getting your picture taken, being in the spotlight, or have a smaller social battery, then a first look might actually help you get more breaks and feel more relaxed and energized for the reception.

Timelines are crucial to planning a wedding day that allows you to stay present and enjoy each moment without rushing from one thing to the next. They also can vary so much depending on the season, venue, guest count, and your priorities. I create custom Wedding day timelines for each of my clients including a first draft right after our initial booking consultation. Inquire to see if we are a good match for your wedding day and receive your custom timeline draft!

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